EXT. FOREST – DAY
Establishing shot of a sweet tree fort. Not the kind that a dad builds to prove some bullshit like he’s the master builder, but like an awesome version that a bunch of 9-year-old rad kids built. Note: it’s not super-safe because 9-year-olds really built it. I.E. don’t jump up and down inside. Or do so at your own risk.
INT. TREE FORT – CONTINUOUS
Man, this place is cool. But the kids are kinda young to have porn hanging up, so they have like pictures of tanks and really dope motorcycles. There’s also a pretty good drawing of a dragon and some fire coming out of it’s mouth catching a Wal-Mart on fire. (Note to props: I can draw dragons really well so don’t worry about getting someone else to do it. I can do it.)
Anyway, the three super-cool 9-year-olds who built this shit are chilling like they do. They are RILEY, blond, CARLOS, blackish hair, and EDDIE, red hair, but badass and not like a nerdy redhead. This is how they chill:
CARLOS
I just don’t know why you drew the dragon burning down the Wal-Mart. It’s like the only good store we have in our town. It doesn’t make any sense to me.
EDDIE
I’m just really good at drawing Wal-Marts.
CARLOS
Oh. I guess that makes a lot of sense to me now.
RILEY
Guys, are you done talking about the dragon drawing?
EDDIE
I think we’re done.
RILEY
Okay. Well, there’s something I want to tell you guys…
Riley pauses to let this settle in. Eddie and Carlos share a look: Riley is never this serious. This must be big time.
RILEY
I found something the other day.
CARLOS
Is it a dead squirrel that choked to death on a Barbie doll head?
RILEY
No.
CARLOS
Good. ‘Cause I already saw that shit.
EDDIE
Where do you think a squirrel got a Barbie doll head?
CARLOS
Prolly a little girl’s bedroom.
EDDIE
You’re probably right.
CARLOS
Yeah.
RILEY
Guys, are you done talking about the Barbie doll head?
EDDIE
I think so.
RILEY
Good. Finally. Anyways, I found this–
We cut him off using editing and then show this sweet shot of…
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST – LATER
The kids stand near this hole that’s been dug up by Riley. There’s a metal missile-looking thing in the hole. (Note to props: it’s a missile.)
RILEY
–Missile-looking thing.
CARLOS
Slap my ass and call me Sally!
RILEY
No. This is serious.
EDDIE
Do you think the girl misses her Barbie doll head or do you think she has so many Barbies that she hasn’t even noticed yet?
RILEY
Are you fucking kidding me, Eddie? Are you fucking kidding me? You’re seriously pissing me off. I found this missile-looking thing and it’s like you could–
Whoops.
Carlos just pressed the tip of the missile-looking thing. And he didn’t mean to press it that hard because he was just curious (like a kid is), but he did. Whoa. Big mistake. Like big time.
The whole fucking forest blows up and everyone dies. Even birds.
FADE OUT.
